The Hall of Valhalla

Dosa Hut - Volume 1

This was a world famous (would become) story that originated in the dark alleys of Jaganathan Nagar, Coimbatore... A critically acclaimed true story, there is only one difference between the millions of true stories and this one. In a general context, one comes to know of a true story either by reading a book or watching a movie that was based on the true story that happened earlier. The uniqueness about our story here is that this story would be documented here and then it would happen in the future...

So all men, women, dead bodies and coma- staged organisms, read on for you are one among the privileged few to have a look at one of the epics the human mind has ever uncorked from the bottle of thoughts...

Early Days - Chapter 1.

Two events were destined to happen...as all events that are destined to happen happen, these two also happened fueling this epic. Two children were born in the great country of India. One, in the greatest place in the whole world - the Central Tamil town of Trichy and and one, in the not-so-great barbarian heartland of Delhi but with pure Tamil parentage (Though at later stages in the life of this man, his nationality would be questioned often). Though the two kids shared an extraordinary brilliance and an unflinching hatred for anything academic, they were raised in completely different surroundings. While the first was raised in the hot confines of the small town environment, the latter was exposed to great pillars of human civilizations like Tokyo, Damascus, Berne and Tehran.

But legend had it that they meet in a college in Coimbatore, a lovable Tamil city. From here on, I advice you mortals to brace yourself for what may come will shock you.
Right now, I'd give a brief documentary of what was already perceived in college. I intend to write a whole book on this. The readers are right now asked to assume that Vasanth Rao and Raghu Nandan have already reached USA illegally and have a minor network of Dosa making road caravans and are also familiar with the drug network of Los Angeles.
Their passion for the Tamil dish (dont call it South Indian...its Tamil) Dosai and their technical know-how of Indian way of mafia-ism is all they had at their hands and its all that is going to propel their rise in the corporate ladder. The major strength of these two men is that they have the capability of spotting the weakness of a person in no time and build on it (though they both were weak in evey aspect, there was no drought of common sense). And they found one thing when they entered America - the people are the dumbest of all kinds of civilization that ever reared its head on our small planet. As they made Dosas in the crime infested alleys of LA, there was a small difference in their approach...instead of targeting the Indian crowd, they targetted the Americans. The Americans naturally ended up paying more as this was something exotic...The menu rang names like Moserella cheese dosa, Dosa with macceroni, Pepperoni dosa.
As this continued, the brainchild was conceived...They decided to let the crowd decide on what you throw over the dosa...Conveniently, they called it 'toppings'. Our normal onion dosa, rava dosa, and masala dosa became 'dosa with laced French onions, Mongolian potatos and Ravva'. A dosa costs about 2% of the price of a pizza to make and they sold it at half the price of a pizza...Slowly, marketing strategies were evolved. As the technical nuances were concentrated by Vasanth (as he had inherited the art of dosa making from illustrious Tamil cooking ancestry), the political moves were handled to perfection by Raghu.

Televised commercials soon screamed in American house-holds about the hygiene of dosas and burned into the minds of the fitness freaked Americans. It proved how it is the best meal as its lower calorie than Pizza and any other American meal. Slowly the pizza companies started to piss in their pants. These two guys are here to stay. Slowly but surely, Vasanth and Raghu became men that mattered in LA. By this time, final touches were given to the first outlet of Dosa Hut in the the crime infested Sunset Boulevard of LA.

The next few years saw rapid expansion in California and slowly into Memphis, Dallas, Miami, Vegas, New York and Chicago.
Vasanth and Raghu were chased by the local press. Dosa Hut sponsored the LA Lakers team jersey. Democratic senators from California owed favours to them...and it was promptly extracted with finese by Raghu. With an eye on the future, a very close team of guys who've never done anything useful in life were roped in. The nigger gangs of LA considered them 'brothers' and the Mexicans trusted them more than their own people...The drug business was sky-rocketing. The latest innovation - Marijuana Roast scored massively among the addicts making Vasanth and Raghu highly revered in the Mafia circle. (Incidentally, Marijuana Roast sports this caption on the box - 'Using the very own Chennai-grown premium ganja blended to perfection in the foothills of Coimbatore').
to be continued...

posted by Vasanth Rao @ 7:20 pm