The Hall of Valhalla

Bangalore Blues - Vol 3 - (Kidnapping)

'What is...and what should never be' Que: What is? Ans: I am a software engineer Que: What should never be? Ans: Me a software engineer In this industry of uncool, in this industry of lies and falsehood, where art thou heading? For this, I ain't got no answer. As we lie to each other and to ourselves that this is what we wanted to do all out lives, lets stop and think...As the guys around me, try to stare at a stupid monitor and 'code' (this is a word that should be banned) some weird set of grammatically incorrect words with great difficulty and ass-ache just to create or make dissappear, a non-entity called a 'file' (another entry to the ban list), I can't help but wonder why have we become so stupid...

On the other hand, we should consider 'kidnapping and ransom', which I'm sure no one would oppose when I state that its cooler. It is an industry which would see no end as long as mankind exist on this planet and maybe when we disappear, whatever that comes to replace us would also want to kidnap one or two of its kind. Apart from being exciting, kidnapping has a very good success rate where the kidnapee falls in love with the kidnapper (its common human knowledge that the former is a woman and the latter is a man). This is because, there is not much competition for the girl as in a software company. You'd probably have some of your gang but you could always convince them to declare brotherhood to the kidnapee. You don't have to report to anyone and you get to go to really romantic locations.

Consider the kidnapping strongholds...South America, Sicily, Former Soviet Union, Former Yugoslavia, etc., need I comment on the 'exoticness' of these locations? This would give you an idea of the ass-ache saved in begging someone to send you to USA (not so good a location when we consider the afore-mentioned) Kidnapping also gets you to be respected by the men that matter... Look at our very own Veerappan? He'll kidnap some sorry assed full length moron once in while and everyone talks about him. Then you lie low and take a break (which obviously you can't afford in a software industry). Instead of your whole world running around a single team with an idiot (default settings) as a TL, the world would run around (or after?) you for a change.

Coming to the most important point of all, the money, people show you the money if you make your moves correctly (you get the project done when you code correctly). Wait! I know what you're coming at...You're saying you could get your ass busted in no time. True. You can't just about walk into the road and frisk the next chick that walks by...But at the same time, you get your ass busted when you dont report some imaginary bugs or dont finsish some fixed lines of gibberish (code) in given time. You think about jail, I dont think it makes much difference anyways. You go home only to sleep...sleep in a jailhouse...what difference does it make? So brethren! this is where the future is. The industry needs us and software dont.

"talk about your plenties, talk about your ills...
one man gathers what another man spills"

posted by Vasanth Rao @ 7:35 pm