The Hall of Valhalla

Etiquette my globalized ass...

This is one of the major responsibilities of the company I work for... it has to make sure that my ass is honed and perfected to suit global standards so that it looks appealing to some remote guy in some remote country (read American for a general case).

This has given birth to a whole self supporting screaming industry in itself - 'The etiquette training' people. These guys make money being dopes and churn out dopes from top companies day in and day out. Did it occur to any of you, how important it is that if you're the host in a dinner, that the guest should sit to your right? or that the glass of water or drink should be kept to your left? or that the tip of your tie should be the same colour of your trousers and it should be 'just crossing' the upper edge of your belt buckle? Well, dont start shaking your head just as yet... cause, if you think these gross details are useless, you just lost a bunch of clients.

I sat in the last row (No arguments... this is where great thinkers sit) and tested the ductility and tensile strength of the chewing gum in my mouth. As this required careful planning and immense concentration, my mind had gladly departed from the lady instructor's version of what kind of lunch the Americans liked. As I was testing the gum with the pendulam motion, she caught me and instructed the class that that is exactly the kind of behaviour that cost you dearly. Agreed. I'm not defending chewing gum research in an office environment. At the same time, why would some guy be offended by the shape of my beard, the colour of my socks, whether or not my suits matched with my underwear?

This, according to me, is the dizzy heights of 'dopeness'. Well, you shouldn't pick your nose in public and you cant sneeze into someone else's face. But these are the things parents teach when you are a kid. Is what these people call 'business etiquette' really necessary? Does it make you a better person? In whose eyes do you become a better person?

This puts you to such a low that I dont understand how people could actually mould oneself after such a training and feel good about it. When we get irritated with people who sport false accents, what about people with false behaviours that they learn in their twenties to please some alien guy?

I wanted to write a funny piece about this but I ended up cribbing I guess. People, what say?

(This whine is a result of inspiration from Vijay, a staunch anti-etiqutte-training campaigner and approver of chewing gum research)




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posted by Vasanth Rao @ 10:38 pm